No couple starts on their journey of marriage, intending for it to end in unhappiness and possible divorce. However, it is a reality that befalls up to 50% of married couples. It leads people to wonder what makes some marriages work while others do not.
It seems that there is no magic formula that makes marriages successful except understanding that relationships require constant work. Here are some of the things that cause a marital relationship to deteriorate as time passes:
Infidelity
Most people do not set out to have an affair for sex. Indeed, it is often because they feel lonely in their marriage. It feels to them that their partner no longer cares for them, which can be very hurtful. Where communication problems exist in a marriage, spouses do not share their feelings and rectify any issues. Instead, one or both might seek comfort outside the marriage.
The counsellors at Interactive Counselling’s Vernon location understand how devastating infidelity can be and how hard it is to rebuild a relationship after an affair. However, it is possible, with proper guidance and counselling to get both spouses through this challenging time.
Financial strain
Financial troubles are among the leading causes of marital breakdown. They lead to endless arguments and heightened stress levels. When the threat of financial ruin is constantly looming over one’s shoulder, frustration levels are high, and spouses may begin sniping at each other. There are times that this is justified, such as when one spouse spends money the couple does not have.
However, under some circumstances, like a spouse losing their job or falling ill, the couple should be pulling together as a team to find solutions. Instead, they begin pulling apart, stop communicating with each other, and create unnecessary tension in their relationship home.
Decline in sexual attraction and intimacy
When couples meet and sparks fly, they can barely keep their hands off each other. However, the novelty of that sexual attraction diminishes as reality gets in the way of them living in a state of constant honeymoon. Work commitments, family obligations, and children can put a significant dampener on a couple’s sex life.
One spouse might no longer find the other attractive and not want to be intimate with them anymore. There are no hard and fast reasons for this happening. However, when it does, it can lead to unhappiness, rejection, and hurt.
People change
Sometimes, people in a marriage grow apart. This frequently happens when one partner pursues goals and aspirations while the other is content not to do so. They run out of things to talk about because their lives are becoming increasingly different and distant.
Where there seemed to be so much to say when the marriage started, couples run out of things to talk about. Because they no longer share the same interests, indifference can set in, which is the worst emotion of all to experience in marriage. It is one thing to be angry with a spouse but entirely another when you just no longer care about them either way.
Bickering
The differences in how you were raised may only become apparent when you get married. Most couples say that they see a stark contrast between themselves and their spouses once they have children. Their spouse might have a relaxed approach to routine and discipline, leaving them to be the bad guy by implementing any.
These differences lead to constant arguments and petty bickering. In some cases, it becomes the only way that couples can communicate anymore. This is unhealthy and should not be allowed to persist as it could cause the marriage to end.